Why Do We Shame Overeating But Not Other Addictions?

Jemma Billings

There is something I see time and time again, both in the world around us and in the people I work with.

We are incredibly quick to shame overeating.

But when it comes to alcohol, smoking, or other addictive behaviours, the conversation feels different. Softer. More understanding. More human.

And I often find myself asking:

Why is food the one place where we still jump straight to blame?

It is not as simple as “just eat better”

Most people I work with do not lack knowledge.

They know they would feel better eating more balanced meals.
They know when they are relying on convenience foods.
They know when habits have slipped.

But there is usually something else going on underneath that.

  • They are tired.
  • They are busy.
  • They are overwhelmed.
  • They have spent years putting everyone else first.

And somewhere along the way, food stopped being something supportive and started being something reactive.

So when someone says:

“I know I should not, but I just cannot help it”

I do not hear a lack of discipline.

I hear a body and a life that are not being supported properly.

Not everyone struggles, but some people really do

Just like not everyone who drinks becomes dependent, not everyone who eats ultra-processed foods feels out of control around them.

But for some people, it does feel harder.

  • Stronger cravings.
  • More all-or-nothing patterns.
  • Feeling like once you have started, you cannot stop.

And over time, these patterns can contribute to conditions such as Type 2 Diabetes and Cardiovascular Disease.

These conditions do not appear overnight. They build quietly over time.

That does not mean food is the enemy.

But it does mean this is not always just about willpower.

We have attached meaning to food for a long time

Food has never just been food.

  • It is comfort.
  • It is culture.
  • It is social.
  • It is emotional.

But it has also been moralised for years.

  • “Good” foods versus “bad” foods.
  • Being “good” during the week.
  • “Treating” yourself at the weekend.

Without realising it, we start to attach our worth to how we eat.

So when things do not go to plan, it does not just feel like a choice. It feels personal.

And then life gets in the way

This is the part I think we do not talk about enough.

Most people do not wake up and choose to rely on quick, less nourishing foods - Life just happens:

  • Long days.
  • Busy schedules.
  • Low energy.
  • Little time to think, let alone plan.

And when your body is already depleted, it will naturally look for quick energy and convenience.

That is not failure. That is biology.

We live in a world where food is more available than ever. That is not a bad thing. It matters that people are fed.

But it does mean the easiest options are not always the most nourishing ones.

And when you are tired, stressed, and under-fuelled, those options become even harder to resist.

This is where shame gets it wrong

Shame tells people:

  • You should have more willpower.
  • You should try harder.
  • You should be more disciplined.

But shame does not create change.

  • It disconnects people from their bodies.
  • It creates guilt cycles.
  • It makes change feel heavier, not easier.

Because when something is this interwoven into your life, you do not change it through pressure.

You change it through support.

A different way to look at it

What I see in practice is this:

When people are properly nourished and their meals are structured in a way that fits their actual life, something shifts.

The pull towards constant snacking or convenience foods often reduces naturally.

Not because they are restricting themselves.

But because their body is finally being supported consistently.

This does not remove responsibility, it makes it realistic

I am not interested in removing responsibility.

But I am interested in making change feel achievable.

There is a big difference between:

You should just eat better

and

Let us make it easier for you to actually do!

The environment we live in can make things harder than they need to be. But that does not mean we are powerless.

It just means we need a different approach.

One that works with your life, your energy, and your body.

Where I always come back to

You do not need to be perfect.

You do not need to cut everything out.

And you do not need to feel guilty for enjoying food.

What you do need is:

  • Enough nourishment
  • Enough structure
  • Enough support
  • Enought Knowledge

Because when those are in place, everything else becomes simpler.

Final thought

Instead of asking:

Why can I not just be better with food?

A more helpful question might be:

What is missing that is making this harder than it needs to be?

That is where real change starts.

  • Not from pressure.
  • Not from shame.
  • But from understanding and building something that actually works for you.

If this resonated with you and you recognise yourself in these patterns, this is exactly the work I support people with.

Not through restriction or pressure, but through building structure, nourishment, and habits that fit real life.

If you want support, you can explore my coaching here: 60-minute coaching